2020

About 2020 or My Name is Jesus Christ and I’m Running for President

2020 is a divine comedy—a celestial tale set on Earth about the return of Jesus Christ in 2019. He instantly finds himself catapulted into making a run for the U.S. presidency against his better judgment after his loathsome yet occasionally adorable stepbrother, Beelzebub, tosses his hat into the presidential ring as a candidate for the Republican nomination.

But like all great leaders, Christ doesn’t go it alone. He recruits a star-studded cast of brand-new disciples at Mel’s café on Sunset Boulevard—his future cabinet secretaries, in fact—including, among others, Arnold “I’m no Girlie-Man” Schwarzenegger; “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned” Madonna; Martha “Perfect me, Jesus!” Stewart; Mel “You beautiful bastard, you!” Gibson; and last but not least, the great “END AIDS IN AFRICA!” Bono Himself!

And so we’re off and running on a hilariously original romp through 2020 election territory (a little ahead of time). That’s right, we schlep through the Iowa and New Hampshire caucus and primary get-the-vote rituals, eventually ending up in volcanic and riotous (in every sense of the word) nominating conventions, where Rev. Al Gore, God bless him, gets the VP nod once again!

Then it’s on to the General Elections, during which Christ and Beelzebub (posing as the real Christ) do what politicians do the world over; they do the dance. They make appearances on the David Letterman and Colbert Shows; they perform ‘Stupid Pet Tricks’ and engage in the politics of the absurd. And, of course, they show up all prim and proper for Jim Lehrer’s PBS national television debate, only to have it end in a big brawl, broadcast live on national television! When the big day finally comes, the nationwide vote ends up a virtual tie, and our two pro se candidates-turned-lawyers wind up before the U.S. Supreme Court for yet another round of Bush v. Gore. This time, before Chief Justice Clarence Thomas, who maintains from his lofty perch that the genuine Christ is no honky but is, in fact, black—black as the African sky at night!

Who wins? Well, God only knows! Such is the divine hoot, 2020: My Name is Jesus Christ and I’m Running for President.